Fellow Americans,
I'm running for Governor of this town. Why?
Because I can make Mafia GREAT Again.
I'll restore health to all of you, and rid this town of mafia (e.g. Hillary Clinton, we should lynch her sometime). I'll bring riches to the poor, and improve the economy for everyone. Together, we can repel the galactic invaders.
Now, in order to do that, a few things need to happen.
1. I want to be elected governor. nguyenin has generously agreed to carry around a petition for me, and I hope you'll all sign it. 2. These words aren't free! Please send coins to the following address: 4d616b65204d6166696120475245415420616761696e212121 to support my campaign.
God bless you, and God Bless the United States of Mafia!!!
[thunderous applause]
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