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Hello, and welcome to the Enrichment Center. Your specimen has been processed, and we are now ready to begin the test proper. However, it's come to my attention that some among your number may not have been vigilant in familiarizing themselves with the Enrichment Center's purpose, terms, and conditions as laid out in pages 5 through 457 of the documents you signed and initialed in triplicate on page 2. This may be because pages 3 through 457 are only available on request. This policy has been marked for review.
In the meantime, a brief summary. Here at the Enrichment Center, we're working to advance the science of mobility via our high-energy portals in space time, our repulsion and propulsion gel, and our understandings of the human mind through ongoing observation of test subjects in safe, apparently unsafe, apparently safe, and obviously lethal environments.
At the Enrichment Center, we work to provide at environment for testing and science which is non-discriminatory, and indiscriminately hurtful. If you believe you have faced discrimination, harassment, injury, or death which was not part of a designated Enrichment Center activity, please inform your peers and seek arbitration via group punishment. Please note, however, that any spurious charges may be noted in your official test record.
Please collect your Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, Long-Fall Boots, and any other provided equipment from the Test Preparation and Recovery Annex, and prepare yourself as your human bodies require. Rest well. Testing begins tomorrow. In the meantime, I need to go pay attention downstairs. Something is setting off the detectors in the old abandoned test shafts...
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