I've noticed that a lot of intros have issues. I recommend the following improvements:
agrebe - Your intro looks great!
mnjy - Your intro is okay. Schedule updates would be useful but not necessary.
ritagram - Are you okay with people going into 46-5151 to kill you? If not, updates would be good, otherwise you're fine.
sammyluo, jamb, lukesci, m2w, Lucy - Your intro looks okay based on what you know now, but it would be awesome if you could provide updates if/when you go places outside of your living group.
nguyenin - Please provide the location of "yaoi on fire lights stuff."
regirock - I hope you feel better soon. <3 However, most players don't have access to Simmons, so it would be great if you could provide contact info for an NP who would let mafia in. Schedule updates could be helpful too.
kmath, pravinas - post an intro in the first place
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