I think ddoss put it extremely well. It's normal and expected that ghosts will engage in 'armchair commentary'. As with all commentary that comes with the benefit of complete hindsight, ghosts' commentary should be taken with the requisite grain of salt. And if they ever cross a line and become too personal (and yes, I think that ghosts this game, including myself, may have been a bit too ... animated in the graveyard) then it's perfectly reasonable to ask for the commentary to be toned down a bit.
At the same time I would highly recommend listening to the ghosts' commentary. A lot of us have played this game many times and have a pretty good (though, far, far, far from perfect) idea of what we're talking about. Discuss your reasoning on your supposed 'errors' (just like you did in your post!) and start a back-and-forth conversation. Maybe you'll find that the ghosts' were wrong because of their missing context. Maybe you'll find that you could have improved how you played. Most likely a little of both
The mean-spirited attacks against the gods are in a separate category. They were not acceptable and are being privately addressed.
And in all cases, ++ to 'it's just a game'. It's a fun, awesome, intense, and sometimes overwhelming and consuming game. But it's just a game, and everyone should always remember that.