Live Action Mafia

A game of sneakiness and paranoia
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 Post subject: My Opinion on Flushing
PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2018 7:43 am 
Trust me, dear friends; I align with the environment. There are differences between society and environment that create unwarranted differences. For instance, society proclaims that nudity is inane and immoral. However, I fully support a global movement toward full-scale nudity and the abolishment of clothing. I love skinny dipping... as plenty of you will surely agree!

Now here I propose the proposition of proposals. This is simple. Now I want you to listen closely. Very, very closely. So watch this. Stop flushing! Now I know what you're thinking, "My dear sir, how rudimentary it is to not flush!" And to that, I respond, "I care about my environment, you degenerate anti-environmental fascist scum."

Now, I shall lay out my procedures alongside my argument for each situation.

1) Number One, gold like God made the sun. If you are hydrated, your urine should be clear! Remember to stay hydrated kids. If this is the case, there is surely no reason to flush. I mean, your urine is clear and does not smell. You are killing a puppy by flushing in this case. The yellower your urine is, the more justified it is to flush. But you're still an evil person... because you're not staying hydrated and instead taking it out on the toilet! This is why I propose to never flush unless the urine in the toilet is disturbingly yellow or smells really bad. Otherwise, save the puppy held at gunpoint and support the last person who did not flush by also not flushing!

2) Number Two, good Lord help me go poo. There are seven levels of feces. From my experience around the block, type 1 and type 2 feces both lack smell and should be flushed unless in excess. Although if you are having type 1 or 2, you should probably seek medical attention. Type 3 is also mostly scentless, but I wouldn't trust my sniffing pleasures. Sniff it yourself! Be the judge! As my father would always tell me before I went to sleep, "The toilet paper wipe is the number one indication over whether you flush." So if your paper is dry, don't be a degenerate and instead avoid flushing! Save the damn puppy!

3) Number Three, the devil sets my sperm free. :twisted: Now in these cases, you should almost certainly flush. Now I understand the civil duty of sperm-embracing individuals, but I must please advise you to always flush in these cases. You may wonder, "But you could hardly tell upon first inspection!" And to that, imagine this scenario: President Reif takes a visit to your living household and partook in the wasabi challenge the prior night. He needs to use the bathroom! He has very selective taste in his toilets. He sees urine? That's fine. He's been through worse. He sees feces? If it smells, he'll be upset, but he understands that you prioritize celebrating your bathroom achievement rather than worrying about disposal. Now, don't even get me started on what happens if he suspects number three. He'll be ashamed that one took the liberty to do their business but not have the courtesy of proper disposal! This is sacrilegious.

Please consider using my advise in all public and private spaces. You will be the envy of all!

PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2018 3:02 pm 
hi everone, should we vote no lynch?

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